Panir is now bl_nk. Complete blank. He is thinking nothing. This is happening to him for last few days. Hours pass by when he thinks nothing, feels nothing. Is this good? Whenever he thinks of something- he feels sad. It’s like as zero is greater than -10, similarly thinking nothing is better than thinking sad. But his doctor says thinking nothing is not normal. People usually think something as long as they are awake, then they dream. So if Panir is not thinking anything et al. it means he is not fully functional. Seems like a custom-made paradox. He can either be fully functional and sad or unfit and not feel anything. Which way to take is the question.
His cell phone starts beeping. Message. Health Services has sent a reminder sms saying he has an appointment with Dr. Adams today at 3:15 pm. You have an appt with Dr Adams on Thurs, 10 Dec 2009 at 3:15 PM. Please reply with Y to confirm or N to cancel this appt. Non attendance may incur fees. How stupid a sms can be. He can see the number from which this message been sent. It’s a local 10 digit mobile number. Yet they make it sound like a machine generated text. Press Y for ‘yes’ and N for ‘no’. When the Health Service System is this stupid then how could they treat some other’s stupidity? Sumit’s list of dilemmas were multiplying in numbers as fast as rats in damp warehouse.
First thing Panir does when he wakes up in the morning is to switch on his laptop. Sometimes he won’t even shut down his system at night and wake up to sit with it again. He looks at the clock in the right-bottom corner of the screen. His vision is still blurry from the long sleep. It’s 12 noon. Good, his sleeping hygiene is now as bad as Calcutta General Govt. Hospital. ‘I can either leave my bed now, brush my teeth have a late breakfast or I can sleep for some more time- then wake up and have lunch at proper lunch-time’. Panir starts to feel happy and closes his eye lids again.
Nice weather today. Cloudy sky. Beams of sunlight dancing over the window. Lights from this window is the first thing that kisses his face every morning. Suddenly he feels fresh.
I feel like walking into the rains, thinks Panir.
Love and Life are two different entity. You cannot rationalize one with the other.
Life is nothing but a series of decisions you make all through. No point thinking about the opportunities you missed rather think of how to grab the next one. You can not do good to everyone all the time. In this earthly earth there are two types of mindset of people. One is the Traditional World. This world is for elderly, orthodox and conservative people. And then there is this Practical World. Those people who realize that we have come a long way since Shaatkimaan on Doordarshan era.
And it is his name which has always been a mystery to him. I mean why Panir? You realize you parents ability to embarrass yourself all throughout your life when you have a name like Panir. He can sympathize Rabri Devi. He knows how it feels to live with a name that resembles a particular item of sweetmeat or a processed milk product. But he is less considered about his name since he has left India. In west nobody really cares if your name doesn’t mean anything. There it is perfectly okey if you say your name has no meaning or if you don’t know the meaning of your name. Nobody will get amused if you say- Hi, My name is Pushpa. Poops in short.
What is love? Panir loves food. He is a skinny guy. He loves food not eating. He likes the aroma of spices, the freshness of capsicum, vermillion-red color of chopped cherries, earth brown cracked crust of chocolate cakes. Akbar is a young boy, may be 11 or 12 years old, who works in a computer sales shop in Calcutta. Panir met Akbar when he was working as a Sales-executive after completing his Engineering. He was happy when he was selected by this Multi-National Computer manufacturer. But all his dreams shattered on the first day of joining. When he realized that sales job is no good than a street hawker. Okey back to Akbar now. So Panir was smoking on a roadside tea stall. Akbar came to the same shop and asked for a chilled soft-drink to the shop-keeper. Akbar passes a faint smile as his eyes meets Panir’s. Akbar has two younger sisters who stays with her mom back in a village in UP. His father died last year and now he is the earning member of the family along with his mother who grows vegetables in the backyards. The shop pays him 3,500 rupees per month and also allows him to sleep inside the shop at night. Panir waves his hand in air and signals Akbar to come near. Something strikes Panir’s mind at that moment- how come so many spot-boys and dubbawalas are named after the wealthiest people ever- Akbar, Jahangir, Ratan (Tata), Anil et al. What an irony. May be their parents think that if they have a name of a millionaire then by some magic they will become one someday. Panir buys a chilled soft-drink for Akbar.
This is the first time I am drinking Cola. Akbar says with a smiling face and eyes full of gratitude.
Panir felt satisfaction. This 10 rupees bottle of cola has given him more pleasure than the Rs. 2495/- worth of perfume bottle he bought for his girlfriend on her last birthday. He would have rather bought 250 bottles of cola for Akbar with that money. Only if he knew that Akbar had never drink cola in his life.