What Are You Wearing?

This is the most frequently asked question over phone to the girlfriends. But why what are you wearing, why not something else? How come everybody is asking the same question? How do they know when to ask, whom to ask?

There is a Bengali proverb which goes as-

Ducklings need not to learn swimming.

I find this very apt in this context. If you are a female older than 18 then you must have come across this question- What are you wearing now? And guys- you might not even remember how many times you asked this. (For a few more skillful guys they might not even be able to count how many girls they asked it!) What I find interesting here is that nobody had actually ever told these boys about this particular question but somehow all of them figure it out by them self in due time. It’s almost like those ducklings who somehow know exactly how to swim the moment they are born, while humans with a much bigger brain size find it difficult and absolutely nobody is born with the ability to swim on the first time they get into water. Apparently swimming is in their genes and so duckling need not to be taught anymore.

So the question is how is everybody asking the same question? and what blows me away is- why do girls answer this question? Girls see it coming. Yet they let it happen. (Guys, let me tell you something- if you think that you can outsmart the girl with your perfectly timed questions then you are in fool’s paradise. Girls always know what they are saying. Most probably she has deceived you with her simple-minded, talkative girl appearance. Just think- of all those infinite sentences she told to you last night- how many really had any information in them?)

Do you know the story behind YouTube’s success? It’s not the revolutionary idea of hosting a free video uploading site but the advancement of secondary technologies which played the most important part behind its success. The first video was uploaded in YouTube on April 23, 2005. Just after two years in 2007 YouTube consumed as much bandwidth as the entire Internet in 2000! But its triumph was heavily backed by something else that was gradually entering into every household- mobile phone. It was during that period that the camera mobiles were flooding the market (not to mention the simultaneous fall in their prices). Videos in digital format had become readily available. Prior to that it was magnetic tape era and for uploading these videos to internet they were needed to be converted into digital format. Secondly, high-speed internet (broadband) was neither cheap nor easily available before that time. Another important aspect of watching videos online. It is the combination of these factors happening in some other dimension gave birth to another successful website. Alexa ranks YouTube as the fourth most visited website on the Internet, behind Google, Yahoo! and Facebook.

The evolution of this question was also benefited by the same device- mobile phone. I don’t think that the playboys of 50s and 60s used to telegram their girlfriends as wat r u wearing? It doesn’t make any sense. Guys don’t ask this until they are sure of the fact that the girl is wearing something interesting(!). Mobile phone has made this possible. Now the phone is with you in the darkness of your bedroom (occasionally even in bathroom too). Most probably the first time when this question was asked by a boy to a girl was in the land-line era. Even in that time few chicks were lucky enough to have a room for herself and also a phone (land-line) in the room. This might have provided an optimal environment for its genesis. I wonder if anybody ever asked his girl-friend ‘What are u wearing’ at 12 noon when she is in college or at work place? (Even if he had ever asked it then it’s either to locate you in the crowd or may be he is spying on you from a distance :P.)

Beauty of this question lies in its functionality. When a guy is asking this question for the first time he is not exactly looking forward to the answer. He is more keen on the subtle hints. It’s the way she replys that the main point of interest to the guys. If she gets upset then- boy, slow down. And somehow if she is not mad at you then- congrats! you are now ready to take your relationship to the next level. This question is like the Litmus Paper test for Y-generation romance. Another notable aspect of this is its universal appeal. I have personally confirmed with my friends from different parts of India and all of them agreed that they have either asked it (boys) or been asked (girls). And now I am in Australia, I asked my Aussie friends too. Even they validated this hypothesis. My Asian friends (from China, Taiwan and S. Korea) have also given their stamp of approval.

Now my question is why do girls answer this? I am not sure of this though. (Actually never had enough courage to ask anyone.) Here is my take on it- I think girls do it out of sympathy. Much like pity sex. They might be laughing at us in mind and think ‘Its so easy to make the boys happy! Just act dumb and answer some dumber questions… thats it.’ What is the point of knowing what is she wearing at night? That too over phone? You can’t see it anyway. So chuck it! Grow up guys- stop asking dumb questions and cut the crap. Jump straight to the point. Ask it direct. Be a man!!!

(P.S.- Girls please enlighten the eager souls. Let us know- why do you answer this question?)

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36 thoughts on “What Are You Wearing?

  1. Random says:

    WHY would I reveal that? Actually I dunno myself.. noone dared to ask me.
    Except well, What are you wearing…to the party/wedding/lunch/dinner tomorrow? 😀

  2. The only reply any guy, who is lucky enough to talk to me that late at night, gets is a faint giggle or “whatever” And I’m sure you know what each indicate!

    But it would be impolite to just hang up once a guy asks it right?

  3. I guess the question is asked for the visual appeal. Since the question is mostly asked over the phone, the guy can then imagine what his girl is wearing and if the girl is naughty enough she would take the question to another level by answering about what she is wearing beneath. Imagination makes you wild. And I guess girls answer the questions because it makes them feel nice about themselves that their guy is currently fantasising about them in a particular piece of clothing.

  4. “What are you wearing?”
    Somehow this question just arouses pity (OMG, you poor loser) in which I let it slide.

    Occasionally, it’s asked by an arrogant fuckwit who imagines himself to be God’s gift to Womankind, in which case this is the point I bring him down a few notches.

    Somehow, the kind of guy I’d tell in lurid detail, just never asks! *sighs*

    (also, only in this day and age is “So can you get on webcam/ send me a pic?” a question that’d follow. And sadly, Hugh Grant and George Clooney tend not to ask me to get on webcam…. *double sigh*)

  5. Nobody asked this question to an 18 year old girl yet, so I can’t comment!! [will do if I’m in this position in the near future ;-)]
    Other than that, Henna’s reply is the perfect answer that you can get I guess. Its absolutely true.

  6. Vanity Girl says:

    Absolutely agree with Henna’s comment. If a guy happens to ask this when I’m in a playful mood, I’ll twist his mind with something really sexy, even though I would be wearing my regular pjs. Guys can sometimes be so dumb 😀

  7. In the ‘Beginner’s Guide to being a Douchebag’ this question ranks second only to ‘Wassup?’. It is prominently mentioned in the record breaking guide – ‘Small Talk Essentials’.

    I witnessed a super-fun brawl on twitter because ‘a god’s gift to womankind’ asked a lady, the question-that-shall-not-be-asked. And a meme followed.

    Also, this question often represents the beginning of a phone sex session.. *if this comment is published you need a better spam filter*

    In any case, if you chance upon a transcript of a couple’s phone conversation, you’ll find better gems than these.. Especially rhetorical questions like ‘Aap bade woh ho’..

    And just for the record, girls will answer any questions related to clothing, jewelery, shoes, heels, pink color and Hugh Grant(or Orlando Bloom or Edward Cullen). Most girls that is.

    Lage reh.

    *and I wrote an entire comment without referring to Henna’s comment #win*

  8. Rayne says:

    my lover actually asked me this question last night…and it was super sexy, knowing that he was thinking about me when i couldn’t be there with him. he was also extremely aroused by my answer…….((little did he know i was actually in my flannel pj bottoms, the ones w/ the teddy bears, and the largest tshirt i could find)) 🙂

    • thats the beauty of this question… boyfriends don’t really want to hear the truth rather they prefer fantasy material 😛
      and answering it is an art… no matter what are you wearing, if you are good with your words you can toy with him as long as you want… he will never ask you to stop.

  9. i have nvr asked it to ne one…nor i have the courage to ask ….talkin abt men….when it comes to fantasizing…they will only think what they want to think…..also in their back of their head they r sure that his gf is not telling u the truth (mostly) ….

  10. Good afternoon, Happy Fool’s Day!

    A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18-year-old girls. I made love with both of them twice.”
    The priest said: “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
    “Never Father, I’m Jewish.”
    “So then, why are you telling me?”
    “I’m telling everybody.”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!

  11. I could tell how much I loved the post, but I was too busy looking at the pictures. Henna’s comment is THE comment, obviously.

    I ask the question (when it is to someone new) to find out how much can I push. It is a seemingly innocuous question, but it isn’t really. Depends on how you use it.

    But however, it is always asked to help me visualize better. To get the colors in my head.

    Liked that you made it a whole post!

  12. Nishant Singh says:

    If on the phone, guys would probably ask it cause they are missing their company and telling someone ‘i am missing you’ is just boring. Rather ask ‘what you wearing inside’ then depending on the girl take it to another level. A lot of girls do not prefer straight direct questions but rather have some spicy mixed with the questionnaire and make it more interesting. Since the girl isn’t present right in front of the guy, a lot of time guys feel a lot more confident then asking in person. Guys love making conversations, especially phone conversations, interesting for if nothing else it helps their imagination run wild and gives a lot of mental satisfaction!
    If a guy asks her in person then offcourse there is a lot more intention than knowing what is covering the woman’s body. Most probably, the moment a girl tells him what she is wearing (and she if does in a suggestive manner) then the guy starts imagining how to remove those clothes one by one ;)!

  13. I loved the post . . Who knew that a simple question like this had so much of hidden potential. . And of course Heena’s comment is the most logical one. .

  14. Anonymous says:

    AMAZING, THIS Question is world wide !! … I’m from middle east and i realized that most men asked this question to their girlfriends.

  15. taliko says:

    I get this question a lot and all it does is make me laugh! I usually text back some ridiculous answer if I’m at home (go on expensive lingerie sites and describe the sets I like, etc.) or make something up (make my work outfit sexier, put on a text-based naughty librarian act). I love messing with the guys who ask. It’s hilarious!

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